Caution: Viewer discretion advised. Pictures are not pretty.
Every year it’s the same. I spend the month of February whining. Plants should be up and coming on February 1st. We’re in the south. It’s 40 degrees today! Spring should be here!
Why is it so late this year? Things are still looking dead. How can that be?
I scratch some bark off a branch. Just a test, mind you. If there’s green underneath I know the dead twig is still alive.
Uh oh, I guess I scraped this plant before. There are scars from three other scrapings this year.
I start to feel a little guilty.
If I do any more of this, the plant will really be dead. Well, if they didn’t look so dead, I wouldn’t have scraped them to pieces. It’s their fault, not mine, I whine.
Fortunately, one day it’s March and the sun warms things up. Finally, spring!
I thought it would never get here. I see some green buds so I stop whining.
OMG, where did all these weeds come from? Why are there always so many weeds?
And why did spring come so early this year? Couldn’t it have waited a bit?
And how will we get everything done? We’ll be working every day till next winter.
I’m exhausted from all this whining. I take a nap.
I know, I’ll make a list of what needs to be done. It’s always better when you have a list.
Here is my list
That should do it.
How nice, only five things, nothing to it. Now I can stop whining and take another nap.
I’ll get started tomorrow.
Feeling pretty smug, I give myself a little tour of the garden.
Uh oh, I see a couple of things that need fixing. I’d better start another list.
Here is my second list.
1. Ivy choking hydrangea, has to come out.
2. Lesser celandine smothering a couple of azaleas. Coming up everywhere else, too. That can’t be good.
3. Seedling beautyberry. Forgot to pull it last year, now a hunk muscling out azalea.
4. Those pretty purple jobs, annuals planted them all over last summer, what were their names? Dead now and rooted to China, I’ll need a shovel.
5. Planter boxes in the courtyard. Did we really have butterflies last year? What a mess.
6. Maximillian sunflower, love it, but rhizomes and new plants everywhere.
7. Ditto for green-eyed coneflower, keeps invading the bed.
This is a terrible list. I do not like this list. If I have to do all this extra stuff, I’ll never get to doing anything on the first list.
I can’t figure how all this super-growth happened on my watch. I guess I’m not very good at noticing. If there were a Gardener’s Army I would be court martialed and sentenced to pulling tiny seedling weeds, the ones with roots that break off when you pull them, for the rest of my life.
Here I thought we were ahead of schedule for cleaning up. We’d raked some paths and transplanted some plants (whose bark had been scraped to make sure they were still living).
Now, we’re way behind.
We’ll have to work dawn to dusk, and maybe even in the rain.
I make another list of what I like to do best in the garden.
Maybe I can do this list first.
1. Buy plants.
2. Buy more plants.
3. Plant seeds that will not need help from me.
4. Plant small plants in good soil.
5. Give Bob the big plants to put in clay or rooty soil.
6. Ask Bob to dig up shrubs and transplant them.
7. Water transplants once in a while.
8. Deadhead perennials and do light pruning.
9. Ask Bob to do the heavy pruning.
10. Weed when there are not too many weeds and they are easy to pull and they promise not to come back.
11. Did I mention buying plants?
What I truly like best is sitting in a comfortable chair with a nice hot cup of tea and telling everybody else what to do in the garden. Then I wouldn’t do any whining at all.