Plight of a Pickle Pail

Hey, does anyone remember I’m out here all alone?

I’m just a lowly pickle pail done-in
Ain’t never had no steady kissin’ kin
I toil so hard
In your weedy yard
Oh what I’d give for a swig of gin.

Today you see a pickle pail hard workin’
But once I reigned o’er dill and sweet and gherkin
Well-brined, they were
Tastier, juicier, plumper,
Oh please pu-lease stop all that winkin’ and smirkin’

Hauling here, dumping there. Camellia-air-layer duty is best, though.

You take for granted this pickle pail relic
That you got for free from the local deli
You cried in dismay,
As you drove me away
“Open ALL the windows!”
Because you thought I was too smelly.

Oh, what would you do without my travail?
I answer your call without fail.
Need a hand
With all that sand?
Just grab that faithful pickle pail.

Patiently waiting to fulfill your every wish. . .

And then there are those weeds in prime
That you pull without reason or rhyme
They muddy my insides
And splatter my outsides
Till I feel like a partner in grime

I’m not alone, I mustn’t whine
There’s more like me, we wait in line
Ready and willing to haul.
No task too large or too small
To make your garden shine.

I know I must sound like I’m braggin
But I’m proud of our dudes on that wagon

See my friends all over, some just off the wagon. What would they do without us?

Waitin’ for truckin’
To wherever you’re muckin’
And there ain’t never no lollygaggin’.

Well, my handle’s broke, my bottom’s split to eleven
Seems I been working 24 and 7
I did my best
At your request
Now I’m ready to rest in pickle-pail heaven.


What are we doin’ here? I wish they’d dump us. This garden trash is makin’ me itchy. Sh-h-h, they hid us while they show their friends around the garden. I hope they come back. Probly not. I think they forgot us.

Pickle Pail Statement:  Readers should know that pictures of us were taken as record shots while we worked. Nobody ever showed us off. Usually they tried to hide us behind bushes when they took a shot, but sometimes they forgot.

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